


RFA's cancelled

by celestialnights



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Dirty Jokes, Explicit Language, Gay Jokes, Group chat, Humor, I have no idea where this will go, M/M, Sexual Humor, Swearing, alot of them - Freeform, but we'll find out, chat fic, chatroom au, everyone might be gay, ha, i will tag as i go, like me, sensitive topics, they're all idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialnights/pseuds/celestialnights
Summary: Baeyoung: You so ugly, Satan finally had a competition.Saeran: YOU FUCKING IDIOT- WE’RE LITERALLY TWINSYuwusung: Do any of y’all wanna bet Saeyoung’s IQ is a single-digit?ZEN outta ten: I’m about to insert that to Bikipedia.Baeyoung: This is bullying, you’re committing a serious crime here.Baeyoung: I regret ever making friends with any of you monsters.ZEN outta ten: Woah there, don’t you think “friends” is a little too much?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Baeyounghas left the group chat---Behind the scenes of RFA's chats. What can go wrong :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One can never go wrong with a crack-chat-fic
> 
>  **Baeyoung** = Saeyoung  
>  **Saeran** = Saeran  
>  **Thrust fund kid** = Jumin  
>  **ZEN outta ten** = Zen  
>  **Yuwusung** = Yoosung  
>  **Jaehee Kang** = Jaehee Kang

_03:29 AM_

**_Baeyoung_** _created a_ _new group chat_

 **_Baeyoung_ ** _added **Saeran** , **Thrust fund kid** , **ZEN outta ten** , **Yuwusung** , **Jaehee Kang**_

 **_Baeyoung_ ** _set the group name to ” **Tiddy bitches** ”_

**Baeyoung** : Watsh poppin’ y’all okurrr

 

 **_Saeran_ ** _left the group chat_

 **_ZEN outta ten_ ** _left the group chat_

 **_Yuwusung_ ** _left the group chat_

 **_Thrust fund kid_ ** _left the group chat_

 **_Jaehee Kang_ ** _left the group chat_

 

 **Baeyoung** : Fucking frauds. What did I ever do to deserve this.

 

 **_Baeyoung_ ** _set the group name to ” **Tiddy frauds** ”_

 **_BAEYOUNG_ ** _added **Saeran, Thrust fund kid, ZEN outta ten, Yuwusung, Jaehee Kang**_

 

 **ZEN outta ten** : What the fuCK do you want??

 

 **Baeyoung** : Calm your sassy tits, I’m making this for us. A way for us to bond!!

**Baeyoung** : As friends~

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** “Us.”

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : “Friends.”

 

 **Yuwusung** : Ooooof since when is Saeyoung this thoughtful?

 

 **Baeyoung** : Shut up workaholic-who's-denser-than-my-tits, also, I’m always thoughtful wyd?

 

 **Saeran** : Remember that time when Saeyoung left me all alone to die? When he was the only person who could save me? Yet he didn’t and decided to act like I ain’t shit??

 **Saeran** : Me too.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Deep.

 

 **Baeyoung** : ShuT tHE FUcK UP saERaN

 

 **Saeran** : PFFT;; WAS THAT A THREAT??

 **Saeran** : aaa, im so scaredddd

 

 **Baeyoung** : BITCH IS YOU TRYNA FIGHT??

 

 **Saeran** : If you’re looking for one, then my fist can gladly compensate.

 

 **Baeyoung** : SOMEONE HOLD MY WIG;;

 **Baeyoung** : I’m not gonna hesitate hoe,

 **Baeyoung** : You so ugly, Satan finally had a competition.

 

 **Saeran** : YOU FUCKING IDIOT- WE’RE LITERALLY TWINS

 

 **Yuwusung** : Do any of y’all wanna bet Saeyoung’s IQ is a single-digit?

 

 **ZEN outta ten** : I’m about to insert that to **B** ikipedia.

 

 **Baeyoung** : This is bullying, you’re committing a serious crime here.

 **Baeyoung** : I regret ever making friends with any of you monsters.

 

 **ZEN outta ten:** Woah there, don’t you think “friends” is a little too much?

 

 ** _Baeyoung_** left the group chat

 

 **Saeran** : He actually left—

 **Saeran** :

 **Saeran** : A world record, quiet for 5 fucking seconds

 

 **Yuwusung** : This calls for a celebration!

 **Yuwusung** : The impossible has happened!!

**Jaehee Kang** : We’re totally bonding.

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : No shit.

 

_\---_

 

_04:18 AM_

**_Baeyoung_ ** _entered the group chat._

**Baeyoung:** Gays, if my milk expired on April Fools Day, is it really expired?

 

 **Saeran** : Saeyoung what the actual fuck??

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : It’s fucking 4AM

 **Jaehee Kang** : Y’all better shut the fuck up, or I’ll smack y'all the fuck up

 

 **Baeyoung** : Yes ma’am.

 

 

 


	2. Field penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Saeran** : I'm gonna take you out  
>  **Baeyoung** : Great! it's a date!  
>  **Saeran** : Wha- I meant that as a threat  
>  **Baeyoung** : See you at six!

 

 

 

_6:17 AM_

_”_ **_Tiddy bitches_ ** _” groupchat_

**Baeyoung:** guys…

 

 **Yuwusung:** Oh no.

 **Yuwusung:** That’s an uncapitalized “guys”

 **Yuwusung:** With three dots at the end.

 **Yuwusung:** Sths wrong.

 

 **Baeyoung:** What the fuck Yoosung?

 **Baeyoung:** Nothing’s wrong??

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** Then what is it?

 

 **Saeran:** If it’s about the field penguin thing, I’m going murder you tonight.

 

 **Yuwusung:** sdfghjkl FIELD PENGUINS???

 

 **Saeran:** Don’t ask.

 **Saeran:** Long story short, he ranted for a whole hour why cows aren’t called field penguins.

 **Saeran:** The stress I’m having with him around is too much.

 

 **Baeyoung:** Okay, he didn’t need to know that info @ ** _Saeran._**

 

 **Saeran** : I think he do.

 

 **Jaehee Kang:** Make your point quick.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I haven’t got all day.

 

 **Baeyoung:** There’s just…

 **Baeyoung:** Something on my mind lately…

 

 **Jaehee Kang:** Which is?...

 

 **Baeyoung:** What if Elizabeth the 3rd has a human butt?

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** Then Elizabeth the 3rd would be hot.

 

 **Baeyoung:** She could wear lacy underwear.

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** THAT’s hot.

 

 **Zen:** What the actual fuck?

 

_***_

_8:47 AM_

 

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** I’m going to break Zen’ back.

 **Thrust fund kid:** If you get what I mean :)

 

 **Saeran:** I’m going to break Zen’s neck.

 **Saeran:** If you get what I mean :)

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** Your dick isn’t even long enough to reach his neck.

 

 **Saeran:** How would you kn-

 **Saeran:** WAIT WHAT—

 

 **Jaehee Kang:** I just choked on my coffee-

 **Jaehee Kang:** And now my nostrils are clogged with espresso.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Bitter.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Like my life.

 

 **Zen:** Tragic.

**Zen:**

**Zen:** WAIT WHAT--

 

 **Yuwusung:** I’M SCREEECHING SDFGHJK

 **Yuwusung:** HOW TO UNSEE

 **Yuwusung:** CONTROL FUCKING Z

 

 _**V** _ _entered the groupchat_

 

 **Yuwusung:** Talk about unseeing-

 

 **V:** Okay first of all, I ain’t done shit to you.

 

 **Baeyoung:** oooh~ the tea

 

 **Yuwusung:** UhM?? You done shit to me so many times, ur ass must be clean.

 

 **V** : I’m done.

 

 **Yuwusung:** Yeah but we’re not.

 **Yuwusung:** LeT’S square Up!1!1!.

 **Yuwusung:** Bitch let’s fight.

 **Yuwusung:** I’ll blindfold myself if necessary.

 

 **Zen:** I can’t help but imagine how two blinds would fight.

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** They won’t fight, they’ll just argue.

 

 **Zen:** What if one of them accidentally bumps onto us, thinking we’re their opponent, and kills us eventually?

 

 **Saeran:** I had enough of this shit.

 

 

_***_

_11:34 AM_

**Baeyoung:** Would you sell me for a loaf of bread?

 

 **Saeran:** I’d donate you.

 **Saeran:** You’re not even worth a loaf of bread.

 

 **Yuwusung:** Ouch

 

 **Baeyoung:** Ouch indeed.

 

 **Zen:** GUYS GUYS

 

 **Jaehee Kang:** Yes? What is it Zen?

 

 **Zen:** Jumin hasn’t been texting me back—

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** Sorry.

 **Thrust fund kid:** I lost my phone.

 

 **Zen:** Then buy a new one??

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** I guess I will.

 **Thrust fund kid:** I’ll tell you once I’ve bought one.

 

 **Zen:** Okay.

 **Zen:** Text me when you do.

 

 **Saeran:** Should I tell them?

 

 **Baeyoung:** Don’t you dare

 

 

_***_

_12:28 PM_

 

 **Zen:** @ ** _Thrust fund kid_** You remind me of the ocean…

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** Why the ocean?

 **Thrust fund kid:** Is it because I’m bigger than you and majestic?

 

 **Zen:** Because you’re salty, and you pee Tsunami.

 

 **Baeyoung:** WHEEZING--

 **Baeyoung:** DIDN’T KNOW ZEN CAN GO OFF THAT HARD ASDFGHJ

 

 **Saeran:** My back hurts…

 

 **Yuwusung:** Oh no!!

 **Yuwusung:** What happened?

 

 **Saeran:** I slept on the couch

 

 **Yuwusung:** Huh?

 **Yuwusung:** Why would you do that?

 **Yuwusung:** I thought you share a room with Saeyoung?..

 

 **Saeran:** Correction.

 **Saeran:** “shared”

 **Saeran:** I’m getting tired of his shitty behavior.

 

 **Baeyoung:** UHH—I literally breathed??

 

 **Saeran:** Everytime I turn off the lights,

 **Saeran:** He would start singing “hello darkness my old friend”

 **Saeran:** I’ve had enough.

 

 **Zen:** Tragic.

 

 **Baeyoung:**  NOW YOU’RE JUST BEING A SOUR LIL BITCH

 

 **Saeran:** HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD YOURSELF WHEN YOU SING??

 **Saeran:** YOU SOUND LIKE A DYING WHALE

 

 **Baeyoung:** YOU THINK I DIDNT HEAR YOU SINGING BABY SHARK IN THE BATHROOM AT 5AM??

 

 **Saeran:** BIT-

 **Saeran:** I’m gonna take you out.

 

 **Baeyoung:** Great! It’s a date!

 

 **Saeran:** Wha- I meant that as a threat.

 

 **Baeyoung:** See you at six!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day? I'm fired up!!
> 
> Also, just a heads up, I haven't been playing Mystic Messenger for ages!! But once I heard the Ray/V route was released, I went CliNk CliNNK bottoms uP!!


	3. Spot the difference: Hickey vs Mosquito bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Baeyong** : on a scale from "damn daniel" to "fre sha vaca do" how are you feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **INHALES**   
>  **I'M BACK HOES**
> 
> On the serious thought, I apologize for my innactivity :( I have a bunch of exams coming up and I havent got the time to write. I'm back though! I should post around 3 chapters within the week (Hopefully!) but without further ado, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! (Kudos and comments are always appreciated uwu)
> 
> xoxo

_7:13 AM_

_“ **Tiddy bitches** ” groupchat _

 

 **Baeyong** : Good morning hoes

 **Baeyong** : On a scale from "damn daniel" to "fre sha vaca do" how are y’all feeling?

 

 **Zen** : "Ouhhh somebody tell him" & "It's wednesday my dudes" but as a solid answer "Zach stop" wbu Sung?

 

 **Yuwusung** : Probably "road work ahead"

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : I speak many languages and this is not one of them.

 

 **Baeyong** : Those who don’t know those legendary vines is a disgrace!

 **Baeyong** : I’m disappointed of you Jumin.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : You can’t talk to Mr.Han like that!

 

 **Saeran** : He kinda can.

 

 **Zen** : What language do you think Jumin thinks in?

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : There’s a lot of possibilities! Mr. Han is fluent in many languages!

**Yuwusung** : Oh! Saeyong is fluent in many languages too!

 

 **Zen** : What language do you think in @ ** _Baeyong_**

 

 **Saeran** : Bold of you to assume that Saeyong thinks.

 

 

***

_8:47 AM_

_“ **Tiddy bitches** ” groupchat_

**Yuwusung** : It’s November

 **Yuwusung** : You know what that means

 

 **Baeyong** : Michael Bubble is slowly defrosting as we speak!!

 

 **Saeran** : Why does everyone immediately go to a Christmas mood as soon as November kicks in??

 **Saeran** : They’ll be all “Boo” in Oct 31st and suddenly “Ho Ho Ho” in November 1st

 

 **Zen** : Christmas is near! Enjoy the lively spirit!

 **Zen** : One question tho

 **Zen** : What's the word for horny but like, not in a sexual way? Like, I'm horny for christmas, but I don't wanna fuck a christmas tree, you know?

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : ... you mean "excited"?

 

 **Zen** : Yeah

 **Zen** : I knew that

 

 **Jaehee Kang** :

 

 **Yuwusung** : ANywAyS,

 **Yuwusung** : What do you guys want for Christmas?

 **Yuwusung** : I want a new gaming console for playing LOLOL :D

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** That’s easy

 **Thrust fund kid** : Be healthy

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : To be respected

 

 **Zen** : Get laid??

 

 **Baeyong** : A brother who doesn’t want to kill me.

 

 **Saeran** : Decent friends.

 

 **Yuwusung** :

 **Yuwusung** : I guess none of us will get what we want.

 

***

_2:45 PM_

**Zen** : Netflix and chill

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Blockbuster and cockthruster

 

 **Saeran** : Imax and climax

 

 **Baeyong** : Church and praying for forgiveness

 

***

_4:20 PM_

**Baeyong** : ZEN DID I JUST SAW YOU WITH A HICKEY AN HOUR AGO?

 

 **Zen** : No no

 **Zen** : That’s a mosquito bite.

 

 **Saeran** : Yeah, I saw it too

 **Saeran** : I don’t think mosquito bites look like the ones on your neck

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Hey guys, what did I miss?

 **Zen** : Hi mosquito

 **Saeran** :

 

_**Saeran** has left the groupchat_

 

 **Baeyong** : Well this escalated quickly—

 

_**Baeyong** invited **Saeran** to the groupchat_

 

 **Saeran** : I think I’m mentally scarred.

 

 **Yuwusung** : No shit, I think we all are.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Let's cut the shit,

 **Jaehee Kang** : Announcement!! me and a friend of mine are selling popcorns and I’m wondering if you guys are interested to buy.

 

 **Yuwusung** : I love popcorns! What are the flavors?

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : It varies! Do you want your popcorn sweet or salty?

 

 **Saeran** : I want it like my brother

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : We don’t sell embrassing popcorns here.

 

***

_1:23 AM_

 

 **Yuwusung** : Telling someone "you're shit" and "you ain't shit" are both insults

 

 **Zen** : But "you're not shit" is a reassurance

 

 **Saeran** : And "you're not the shit" is an insult

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : And "you're the shit" is a compliment

 

 **Baeyong** : And “You shit” is an insult

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Guys it's 1 am-

 **Jaehee Kang** : Please let me sleep in peace

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading everyone uwu I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I personally think this one is a long one??
> 
> I hope I made at least one of you laughed :"") I've been lacking some inspo lately but fell free to hmu at the comments below ;) Let's be friends or share the tea ;)  
> xoxo


	4. Bi and ready to die!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Zenten** : Y’all I just realized lmao  
>  **Zenten** : _@ **Baeyoung**_ _@ **Saeran**_ How was the d8?
> 
>  **Saeran** : Horrible, thanks for asking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! As promised, I am back with another chapter ;)
> 
> How's everyone doing by the way? Semestral exams are just around the corner :') I wish those who take them the best of luck! Also, I'd like to thank @AnamioSonami for being the first commenter here (YEs, it means **tHAT** much to me :))
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

_7:07 AM_

**_Baeyoung_ ** _changed the groupname to “ **Bros b4 hoes** ”_

 

 **Baeyoung** : What's up?!

 

 **Saeran** : The sky.

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Fuel and economical prices.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : My patience.

 

 **Zen** : This dick.

 

 **Yuwusung** : N-not much, what about you?

 

 **_Zen_ ** _changed his name to **Zenten**_

 

 **Zenten** : Y’all I just realized lmao

 **Zenten** : @ ** _Saeran_** @ ** _Baeyoung_** How was the d8?

 

 **Saeran** : Horrible, thanks for asking.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Oh come on it wasn’t that bad!

 **Baeyoung** : It’s actually pretty good!

 

 **Saeran** : There’s hair on the soup served.

 **Saeran** : And I’d be damned if I knew what hair it was.

 **Saeran** : I was so close to murdering the chef.

 

 **Yuwusung** : There are types of hair?

 

 **Saeran** : Yeah.

 **Saeran** : How do I say it…

 **Saeran** : The top and bottom.

 

 **Baeyoung** : He did not need to know that and N-E-Ways,

 **Baeyoung** : I made it up to you!!

 **Baeyoung** : We bought ice cream at a famous ice cream shop in the end!

 **Baeyoung** : Saeran seem to like it.

 

 **Saeran** :

 **Saeran** : It wasn’t that bad I guess…

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Awww HAS THE HACKER GONE SOFT?!

 

 **Saeran** : A lesbian is trying me

 **Saeran** : Oh, I forgot,

 **Saeran** : I have an image of Saeyong choking on the ice cream,

 **Saeran** : But he hacked into my phone and deleted it-

 

 **Zenten** : Wow, /You/ hacked Saeran?!

 **Zenten** : You must've improved so much at hacking!

 

 **Baeyoung** :

 

 **Thrust fund kid:** He seem to not understand.

 **Thrust fund kid** : Try changing your words.

 

 **Zenten** :

 **Zenten** : Legend did that, your rad skillz has my wig snatched.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Aww! Thanks!

 

 **Saeran** : For the record, if I actually tried,

 **Saeran** : He will not, in a million years,

 **Saeran** : Be able to hack my encryption.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Is that a challenge?

 

 **Saeran** : It’s not a challenge, it’s an impossible goal.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Let’s see later,

 **Baeyoung** : ❤

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : 3>

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Wait how do I turn the 3 around?

 

 **Baeyoung** : Lmao, dumbass. Are you that stupid?

 **Baeyoung** : < \+ 3 = ❤

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Nevermind, it seems that I have found an alternative solution.

 **Thrust fund kid** : Ɛ>

 

 **Baeyoung** :

 **Baeyoung** : H-

 **Baeyoung** : How the actual fuck??

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Lmao, dumbass :)

 

***

_1:12 PM_

**Baeyoung** : Good afternoon everyone!

 **Baeyoung** : What's for lunch?

 

 **Saeran** : Food.

 

 **Baeyoung** : No, I mean, what are you having?

 

 **Saeran:** An unwanted conversation.

 

 **Yuwusung** : Why not you two just...

 **Yuwusung** : Eat each other (?)

 

 **Saeran** :

 

 **Baeyoung** : That’s cannibalism.

 

 **Saeran** : That’s kinky.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : I-

 **Jaehee Kang** : Keep your fantasies to yourself @ ** _Saeran_**

 **Jaehee Kang** : Serious talk, though...

 **Jaehee Kang** : H-How do I ask MC out?

 

 **Baeyoung** : That’s easy, leave it to the love expertstm

 

 ** **Jaehee Kang** : **...

 **Jaehee Kang** : And they are?

 

 **Baeyoung** : Us! Obviously!

 **Baeyoung** : Okay, so,

 **Baeyoung** : You go: Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what? My bed has room for two ;)

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Umm isn't that too sexual?

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : A-B-C-D-E-F-G, why don’t you have sex with me?

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Mr. Han! That's highly inappropriate!

 

 **Zenten** : Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in my car.

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : Fuck you all, I'm leaving.

 

***

_5:14 PM_

 

 ** **Yuwusung** : **Agh!! Today has been rough... 

 **Yuwusung** : What's your life motto? Maybe it could give me motivation :(

 

 **Zenten** : Single and ready to mingle.

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : Gay and ready to play.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Bi and ready to die.

 

 **Yuwusung** : Saeyoung no.

 

 **Saeran** : @ ** _Baeyoung_** big mood.

 **Saeran** : Death doesn’t seem that bad if compared to having to cope with shitheads like you all.

 

 **Zenten** : I feel offended >:((

 **Zenten** : On second thoughts,

 **Zenten** : Can I get a picture of Jumin?

 

 **Saeran** :

 **Saeran** : Well that came out of nowhere...

 **Saeran** : Why?

 

 **Zenten** : For a school project.

 

 **Yuwusung** : What's the subject?

 

 **Zenten** : Biology, I have a presentation to do,

 **Zenten** : About snakes.

 

***

_8:39 PM_

 

 **Jaehee Kang** : So what’s the secret to always have those plump red lips, Zen?

 

 **Zenten** : I-

 

 **Thrust fund kid** : He uses my lips.

 

**Zenten:**

**Yuwusung:**

**Thrust fund kid:**

**Thrust fund kid** : Sometimes my dic-

 

 **Zenten** : Ok that's it

 

***

_11:31 PM_

 

 **Yuwusung** : I can't believe I was single on valentine's day…

 

 **Baeyoung** : OH? WERE YOU NOW?

 **Baeyoung** : You know what they say... roses are red, violets are blue...

 

 **Yuwusung** : Don't.

 

 **Baeyoung** : Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, I'll try to update as soon as I possibly can!  
> Please drop some kudos and comments ;w; I will gladly make friends or simply just chat with all of you!! <3  
> xoxo


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